h8

it iz razizm 4 n00bz

no

god I wish I wasn't a vegetarian
I was considering having just a little bit of meat because I'm always so tired and I have no Iron in my body and I'm dying but I just can't bring myself to eat any kind of meat, not because oh noooo the animals but because I haven't had meat for such a long time I just got sick of it

I'm sick of meat the thought of putting disgusting, cooked (I hate to say this, but) flesh, meat, ugh, ew.

I went to the doctor, where they took the little bit of blood left in my body out of it so they could examine it.
What's the point of examining my blood when I'll be dead because it was all I had left?

Kapitalizmz.

lol@janna doesn't have LJ and can't laugh at it with me


this is what I do in planning
this,
and hating my appearance today

i am finding no point to life i must go gubdi

actually no i have 15 m inutes left so i will babble bullshit

ok

i want to go back to kuwait where it's easy to get a boyfriend

I'm so bad at like, relationships, I don't know what to do or say when a guy is hitting on me, and I always say things to ruin it. And I can never tell if a guy likes me or not, and if they do, I have no clue what to dooooooooo i just pretend I don't like them hoping that way I won't lose them but i guess they lose interest and give up

and then theres guys that I fear I am leading on

i don't want a boyfriend, but I do
I never say I do and i never do i'm never like "oh god i want a boyfriend"

but i do :(

all my friends either have boyfriends or have a guy in mind except for me
but still, i don't know why i'm complaining, most of my friends haven't even ever HAD boyfriends and while i'm being jealous of them, i've had 3

am i fat
or ugly
or something

i really don't care reading this again i'm realizing how stupid i sound "omg i'm liek fat so n01 lieks mi"

der r many oda girlz dat r fatta dan me K THX im happi with mi weight

as for my looks... i don't want to change anything, because really what you see is what you get and if guys don't like my looks then they obviously don't like me and i'd rather have a boyfriend who likes me for me as CLICHE AND STUUUUUUUUUUUPID As that sounds, I don't want to cover my face with makeup and hide the real me because one day it will come out and people won't like it

man i was soooo close this one time i had a crush on this guy for a year! and we were finally really really close but he got stolen :(

but i don't care because he's with my friend and they're happy right now and getting married and such

WOW THAT IS LAME

and yeah

you know what'd be awesome

if i had a boyfriend and he'd come over and be a hippy with me, and i could tell him allll the fucking jokes i wanted to without feeling lame and he would laugh man that'd be the best

but 19+ cuz alcoholz cuz we could be sippin' on sum mikes hard lemonade while listening to my stupid jokes

but then my mom wouldn't let me bring them over if they were 19+, let alone let me go to my room with them

i can wait 'til i'm sixteen and i move to the basement and i can do whatever the fuck i want that'd be gr88888



and i am le bored and der iz 5 minutes left and i haven't done my english homework and i need cigarettes so bad and it's hitler's birthday on the 20th so me and janna are gonna drink and when we do i'm gonna buy like 5 packs: 3 for me, 1 for janna AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT JOKE KIND OF and one for tara for her birthday present

say they cost 8 bucks each

8x5=............40

w8 nvm den i do nt have enuf mony

i will buy 2 pax 1 for me and 1 for tara

and i need to get a hold of lor or something she's in spain and i miss her so much and all this time i've been loyal to like all my friends but nothin'.
i muuuuust call her!
i love my friends
but i love my family more
imagine what'd happen if i lost my family

i'd have literally no one i swear because friends aren't like family and i will NEVER do ANYTHING to fuck up my relationship with my family because my parents have done EVERYTHING for me.

1 minute left

auf wierdersehen.

ugala :)
hai der every1

i was late
slept in

So I guess I'll only post on LJ every other day, when I have planning, because I have nothing better to do here.

My life seems hectic right now... it's all because of school. I've become so careless towards it, I get more homework than I'm supposed to - we go to school for 7 hours and we're supposed to do homework every night for an hour, but really, ONE CLASS'S homework takes me an hour. Drama takes me one and a half, and English usually 3. I won't even begin with math, for a number of reasons but the main one being because I have stopped doing my math homework; the most I can lose is 15%.

It seems I've stopped caring about life. I do the weirdest things when I'm bored, I feel the need to sleep all the time I'm tired all the time, and as a result I'm missing my first block almost every day; my attendance is dropping dramatically. NOTHING is important, nothing at all and it fucking sucks.

I'm a horrible person; I avoid my problems, I avoid school, friends, food - everything, I suck at life. I used to care about everything, even the ants that people step on in their backyard, what's happened to me? Nobody likes me anymore. My dad tells me there's one problem with me, that's that I don't care about things and I should start, because it's bad. I get into "FIGHTS" with teachers because I always tell them that avoiding the problem will fix the problem, and they call me stupid. I might be stupid, and I know that's not the answer but it works for me and I hate it so much when someone with a small problem like their brother making fun of them complains about it, and I tell them to ignore it, suddenly they're crying and everyone's blaming it on me. Then, people start to think I'm an insensitive, feeling-less stupid girl.

I do have feelings and I am sympathetic - especially with my friends who talk to me about their problems and I love listening - but others, I just think others - everyone, actually - should be realistic sometimes and not take themselves too seriously and create more drama in their lives that way.

There are people in this world who are actually, actually suicidal or actually depressed. Some of them haven't even come from bad backgrounds, just normal everyday people could actually be depressed. And here are these 17 year old girls who listen to too much evanescence and korn, who's parents want the best for them and therefore make rules such as no boys, no alcohol, no going out after 8, they're depressed because of teen angst you don't need fucking medication or to be tied up in a straight jacket i hate you so much and you make me so ashamed

I hate my generation

we're a bunch of whiny, ugly teenagers who have everything but complain about everything, and we watch MTV and we have ipods and we're pretentious pansys and we're wanna-be revolutionaries - WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE - we're 15! Ha! we're no che guevaras! We're not lenin, or castro, or naom chomsky, we're all JUST WANNA BES. never-will-be's.
and those of us who are actually awesome are given a bad name - we're street racers, i am young so i must love mtv and britney spears

I HATE YOU ALL
I might not HATE you ALL, like my FRIENDS, but I wish everyone including myself just died

i'll build an arc for the animals who have done no fucking harm and the rest of us can just die in a fire because we deserve it

fuck you all 666 \m/

And I only ever go on when I'm at school because when Tara's on it reminds me and I'll be like O I HAV AN LJ.

I have no friends on here anyways, not that it matters but it gets pretty boring because nothing's ever going on in my life. I like to read my friends entries, but like I said unfortunately I barely go on.

I will update my LJ for no reason, I want to do 'shrooms so bad on Janna's birthday. And we're going to.

There's this guy I hate, Josh, and I'm gonna make fun of him in math today; I think he's a Jew. NOT THAT I'D BE MAKING FUN OF HIM FOR THAT! I don't make fun of Jews, but he thinks he's so left wing but he's not and he just gives us a bad name because he's a poser, IMO. He's always like "DESTROY CAPITALISM, Capitalism is for greedy pigs, blah blah" and he loves Israel. And Jews. He used to be a pacifier, but now he's trying to act right wing by saying "Wars are necessary". He used to be so anti-racism, but now he's a realist which to me is gay EVEN THOUGH I myself have been through that phase, I am a realist however political correctness is destroyin' mi mindz.

He pretends to be left wing but bitches about black people bitching and wanting land (and he's got it wrong, lol. He means INDIANDS, they're the ones that want land) and it's not normal for a democratic socialist like him to not support social justice.

That's the problem with him, he doesn't believe in social justice and he's just really gay.
He's so cute though :hearts:

What else.

I burned my hand and it hurts a lot and now there's going to be a permanent scar on both my hands because I burned my left one when I was 6 and my right one 9 days ago. I swear, either my school is going to blow up or my house is going to catch on fire this year - whatever. I will die in a fire. Or just get 3rd degree burns.

I hate school so much because we never learn anything fun, even though everything I learn is still knowledge right? Yeah. But I hate it I hate it I hate it it's boring and not interesting and I just want to go to University RIGHT now.

And I bitch a lot on the internet, like, I'm not even talking to someone right now. I am so quiet in real life because people listen to me in real life and I just don't want them to know I say things like this. I likeh 2 bi da quiet irl. But when I'm with my friends I don't. I don't know. The internet is just so......... easy. I can dis someone so easily, argue with them so easily, talk to them easily, but IRL I'm so shy when I don't know that person and I hate it. I hate not being shy on the internet but being shy in real life. I wish I was shy on the internet and talkative/outgoing IRL. I am kind of outgoing in real life, but only when my friends are around me or when I'm drunk or when I'm hyper or happy or feel confident. Which is 70% of the time, but I'm still shy.

And I'm so tired right now, I went to sleep at 10:30 hoping I would wake up around 6-630, and I did - but I went back to sleep and woke up at 7:40 and was therefore late for Planning and now I have 10 minutes left until this class is over, ten more minutes of this journal.

But I don't know what to write...
I can write about 300 but I talk about that too much, I hate it; yet I love it. I hate it more than I love it.

Things that piss me off:
1) Israel, Zionists, Zionism and most Jews.
2) People who support Israel
3) People who hate the Arab countries that are against Israel
4) People who don't have the same opinions as me
5) Being shy
6) Pro-lifers
7) People who support Capital Punishment
8) People that aren't like Connor;
9) capitalism

but rly, I hate right wing pundits, ALMOST all of the above.

People I hate, I hate a lot of people. In fact, in math today I'm going to make a list.

Man I don't know...

I finished To Kill A Mockingbird yesterday, it was meh. It made no sense at the end, so being the pretentious person I (sometimes) am, I'm going to examine it because there must be some sort of hidden story, meaning, something. I'm going to take it apart and figure out what it means if it takes me my life, but not really. I want to enjoy it.

There's 3 minutes left gtg LJ bye LJ.

mi gudnes.

hmm...