(no subject)

So I guess I'll only post on LJ every other day, when I have planning, because I have nothing better to do here.

My life seems hectic right now... it's all because of school. I've become so careless towards it, I get more homework than I'm supposed to - we go to school for 7 hours and we're supposed to do homework every night for an hour, but really, ONE CLASS'S homework takes me an hour. Drama takes me one and a half, and English usually 3. I won't even begin with math, for a number of reasons but the main one being because I have stopped doing my math homework; the most I can lose is 15%.

It seems I've stopped caring about life. I do the weirdest things when I'm bored, I feel the need to sleep all the time I'm tired all the time, and as a result I'm missing my first block almost every day; my attendance is dropping dramatically. NOTHING is important, nothing at all and it fucking sucks.

I'm a horrible person; I avoid my problems, I avoid school, friends, food - everything, I suck at life. I used to care about everything, even the ants that people step on in their backyard, what's happened to me? Nobody likes me anymore. My dad tells me there's one problem with me, that's that I don't care about things and I should start, because it's bad. I get into "FIGHTS" with teachers because I always tell them that avoiding the problem will fix the problem, and they call me stupid. I might be stupid, and I know that's not the answer but it works for me and I hate it so much when someone with a small problem like their brother making fun of them complains about it, and I tell them to ignore it, suddenly they're crying and everyone's blaming it on me. Then, people start to think I'm an insensitive, feeling-less stupid girl.

I do have feelings and I am sympathetic - especially with my friends who talk to me about their problems and I love listening - but others, I just think others - everyone, actually - should be realistic sometimes and not take themselves too seriously and create more drama in their lives that way.

There are people in this world who are actually, actually suicidal or actually depressed. Some of them haven't even come from bad backgrounds, just normal everyday people could actually be depressed. And here are these 17 year old girls who listen to too much evanescence and korn, who's parents want the best for them and therefore make rules such as no boys, no alcohol, no going out after 8, they're depressed because of teen angst you don't need fucking medication or to be tied up in a straight jacket i hate you so much and you make me so ashamed

I hate my generation

we're a bunch of whiny, ugly teenagers who have everything but complain about everything, and we watch MTV and we have ipods and we're pretentious pansys and we're wanna-be revolutionaries - WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE - we're 15! Ha! we're no che guevaras! We're not lenin, or castro, or naom chomsky, we're all JUST WANNA BES. never-will-be's.
and those of us who are actually awesome are given a bad name - we're street racers, i am young so i must love mtv and britney spears

I HATE YOU ALL
I might not HATE you ALL, like my FRIENDS, but I wish everyone including myself just died

i'll build an arc for the animals who have done no fucking harm and the rest of us can just die in a fire because we deserve it

fuck you all 666 \m/